HOOCH’s Guide To New Year’s Resolutions

The New Year is just around the corner and that could be a new opportunity for a new you.  When the clock strikes midnight, what will you resolve to do better in 2017?  If you’re short on ideas, we have a few suggestions:

Invent Your Own Signature Cocktail

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You love going to HOOCH-partnered bars and trying out exotic new drinks on the house, but how about unleashing your own inner mixologist?  Impress guests at your next get-together by knocking the dust off of that idle cocktail shaker and use some of the ingredients you already have in the kitchen to make your very own concoction.  With items like Worcester sauce, agave syrup, smoked paprika, pineapple juice, tomato juice, and lime wedges already at your disposal, the possibilities are endless!  You should probably abstain from using all of those in the same drink, however, unless you want your cocktail to double as a marinade for carne asada (h/t Pop Sugar).

Eat More Soup Dumplings

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Let everyone else worry about losing weight.  We think you look hot as is!

While everyone else files into the gym on Jan. 2, we implore you to get your hands on xiaolongbao.  For the uninitiated, soup dumplings may sound like another name for wonton soup; but it’s not that, it’s actually WAY better.  Soup dumplings have plump balls of minced pork and/or crab and soup broth inside the dumpling.  It’s the quintessential winter food and you can get an entire steamed bamboo tray for as little as $5.  Now you understand why you must commit to the soup dumpling lifestyle for 2017.

drunkendumpling

If you’re after the traditional variety, Shanghai Cafe Deluxe in Manhattan’s Chinatown would be a prime place to start.  If you’re ready to take your gastronomical game to the next level, check out Drunken Dumpling, an East Village newcomer offering Shaq-sized dumplings with giant straws for slurping.  Share it with a friend – or don’t!  Like we said, you look too good to have to worry about calories.

Read Less Books

You’ve now tried to read David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest five separate times and the phonebook-sized dystopian novel now sits on your shelf, taunting you every day single day about your lack of followthrough.

Chuck that thing in the trash and don’t think twice about it.  You like Netflix a whole lot better anyway.

Look Out For No. 1

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You know whose self-appreciation is not lacking?  Former NFL great Terrell Owens.  In 2017, you need to take a page out of his book and “Love Me Some Me.”

Your significant other eats up a lot of your time and, if you’re being honest, you’re probably too attentive to their needs.  Shower the man/woman in the mirror with all of your love and devotion and you’ll be better off for it.