How To Survive Holiday Parties

The holidays are a time for joy and cheer, but it’s not all fun and games.  We’re talking, of course, about the holiday party.

Food?  Drinks?  Ugly sweaters?  Dope.

People who can’t handle their drinks and quickly reveal their inner ugliness?  Not so dope.

Thankfully, as a Hooch subscriber, you know how to drink and party responsibly.  But you’ll still need some tips for dealing with those that aren’t woke to the pitfalls of the holiday party.  Don’t fret: we’re here to help.

  1. Avoid All Political Discussion

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Your uncle is stoked about Making America Great Again, your sister wants a recount, and your little cousin who is a college frosh, incredibly, is still talking about the Green Party.  It doesn’t matter where you personally sit on the political spectrum: it’s best to avoid the debate at all costs.  Whether you’re on the left, on the right, or straddling both sides, we implore you to save your best talking points for Reddit.  If you take the L now, we promise to upvote you later.

2. Steer Clear Of The Company Party Mistletoe

“She’s so hot.”

“He looks better now that he lost 20 pounds and shaved his beard.”

Hot or not, beard or no beard, the pen and the company ink should be kept separate. There may be temptations, but tomorrow you’ll be glad you exercised temperance. Steer clear of the mistletoe to avoid embarrassment later! That way, you can go into work without worrying about being the talk of the water-cooler tomorrow!

3. Steer Clear Of The Family Party Mistletoe

This, we hope, requires no further explanation.

4. Save Your Soles

heels

ATTN: Girls. Yes, those heels make your legs look great. But holiday parties are a marathon, not a sprint! Bring a big enough tote to fit those cute flats in. Walking home barefoot in December is not a viable option. Your feet will thank us later!

5. Have the right number of drinks

beers

Learn a lesson from Goldilocks. Not too much.  Not too little.  Just enough.

Oh how many people wake up the day after a Holiday Party wishing they hadn’t said that thing to that boss, or tried to kiss that crush. If only you’d been forewarned! Well, now you have! No excuses HOOCHers! You don’t want to be the butt of the joke in your friend/co-workers group chat tomorrow, but you don’t want to have a lame time either. A little never hurt anyone!

If your holiday party’s options are lacking, you can skip out early and find someplace better with Hooch.  There, you’ll find all the best bars in the area and they’ll have plenty of non-egg nog offerings. And, as you already know, your first drink is on us!